We are nearly in December and heading for our first family Christmas with our son. I realised this week that when we had our transition process as Moose was moving in we didn't really ask much about Christmas as it seemed so far away. Here are some of the things we are doing to try and make a potentially difficult season, hopefully, a bit smoother.
Limiting Gifts
Moose has always been quite overwhelmed, and at times confused by presents. We have seen him open a gift and hand it back, not wanting to open it or on occasion open it, and just leave it, to come back to later.
We are getting him two gifts, and then a stocking. He doesn't need any more than that. We will pop these under the tree on Christmas morning, and both Pete and I will have the same. Then everyone is equal, we can all go back for our presents when we want to open them.
Then with family, we are doing the same, grandparents are a maximum of two presents, anyone else is a maximum of one. As far as we can tell, and being conscious not to speak for Moose, he doesn't enjoy it when there are too many presents. He also likes familiarity, so lots of new things at once aren't very enjoyable.
Part of me wants to give him 'his best Christmas ever' and buy him everything I know he deserves. But, a sticker book (which he loves) and, another toy car for his collection, are going to help him have a much happier day compared to the overload of loads of brightly coloured, new, sparkly toys.
I have asked him what he wanted for his Christmas, "Christmas Chocolates" - you know what? We can do that for you little man, no problem.
Stockings
I have got the three of us matching stockings with our names on them. We will set these out in the living room so that it helps with the idea of permanence and that he will still be here at Christmas.
Spreading it out
We have a family Christmas early in December when my husband's side of the family can all get together - we are hoping this will work quite well as the intensity of Christmas visitors will be spread across the month, rather than just into the two-week Christmas holiday. They don't live too far from us, so we can come home if it is too much for Moose but also they have rooms upstairs that are quieter where we can go and chill out if he needs to. Also, his uncles will be there, who he doesn't see as often, and I am sure he won't hold back about how excited he will be to see them!
Christmas Day will be spent just us at home, we don't plan on having anyone over or visiting anyone else. We hope to have a pretty 'normal day'. We will leave Moose's presents for him to open whenever he chooses, he may open one and then come back for the rest later as he has done previously on his birthday.
We are having some friends over between Christmas and New Year, along with plans to go to a winter light trail. Then New Year's Day we have one friend joining us.
Our last 'Christmas' event will be on a mini break in January with my parents, where he will get the last of his presents for this year.
No doubt we will add the odd other Christmas activity in, or visit someone else, but the plan is low-key, slow-paced, and with minimal social pressure.
Decorating together
We have always known Moose loves decorations, especially when it involves twinkly lights (much like his Daddy to be honest!) So, the same as birthdays and Halloween we will all decorate together. Moose can help put the tree up and add decorations around the house. I would imagine we will also not put everything up on day one! So we can do this gradually throughout December, again, so we don't overwhelm him, and if he gets bored of it on the first day, we can pick it back up another time.
Santa
Last week I texted Moose's foster carers to ask if there were any Christmas traditions they had done last year, or if they talked about Santa at all. Moose's understanding has improved so much over the last twelve months so we are going to introduce the concept of Santa this year.
The gifts will be from us, but I think we will go down the route of Santa delivering them to us. He won't be coming down our chimney or through the door with a magic key, as we don't want to have a 'stranger' in the house as we feel it might worry Moose a little.
I think we will sprinkle some reindeer food outside for Santa's reindeer and maybe put his cookie and milk outside for when he arrives.
I put out on my Instagram to ask others for advice too. There was a common theme of not wanting a stranger in the house, stockings or presents left on the door
step. Some suggested that from the outset, people dress up as Santa - almost like a fictional superhero. Some go all in, full magic that your presents are delivered from the big man himself by his reindeer on Christmas Eve.
There are so many options. We have debated long and hard on where we stand with it, Moose's level of understanding and what he will get from it.
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