This was my first Pride - and our first as a family. I used to work on Pride days when I lived in London. Most years different shows all piled into each other's theatre to do massive Pride warm-ups before their shows. They were the most awesome days - loads of rainbow lights, everyone being who they are and no judgement for what felt like miles around in those moments.
I was asked to attend our local Pride Day Celebrations to be on the stall of our adoption trust with our some of our social workers. It was the most amazing day ever - so much more than I thought it would be. We were there to dispel the myths that LGBTQIA+ people cant adopt or they are met with too many challenges.
Here is my caveat - some people are homophobic/transphobic etc. and I don't believe for one second every social worker is standing there with open arms to welcome in the gay adopters. HOWEVER - that is not ok (obviously). If you face anything that makes you uncomfortable because of your sexuality or gender, complain, or move agency. It is not worth it.
1 in 6 adoptions in 2022 were to the LGBTQIA+ community.
Anyway, back to Pride. I arrived and we had a small table in a marquee, our first social worker was there along with a few others. I had short notice...I had nothing rainbow to wear! Not to worry, they had many a transfer tattoo ready to be applied! Moose and Pete also came along for the first hour, and my mum and stepdad met us there too. Moose danced outside to the music, blew bubbles and played with balloons at the adoption stand, and was a clear case study, that gay men can adopt! He was incredible, I can't believe how unphased he was with the crowds, the noise. He got his own tattoo transfer and was thrilled showing everyone his rainbow shouting "I am at Pride!"
It was just the most wonderful experience where everyone was so accepting of each other. Everyone felt confident enough to talk about their sexuality, gender, pronouns and their journey. I can't wait to go back next year.
I spoke to a number of individuals and couples who were looking to adopt or had recently started the journey. What is great about speaking to other adopters, is you can ask the questions you don't think you can ask with no judgement. Because we have all asked those questions in the past. Generally, they are about the process and the unknowns there, or about selecting your child.
All adoptions are based on assessments and panels. At any point, an adoption agency may choose not to take you forward but they would need to provide a reason. Maybe you only have one bedroom in your house, or maybe you have some personal trauma that requires you to go on a journey first. But the social workers are there to support you and will often offer advice and point you in the right direction of where to get the support you may need.
The other thing I talked about a lot was adopting an 'older' child but I will talk about that in a different blog. Older in adoption language means 4 years or over, usually.
The biggest thing I would say is if you are interested reach out to an agency. There are Voluntary Adoption Agencies and Regional Adoption Agencies. Regionals are linked to local authorities, and voluntary are stand-alone. There are many blogs on the pros and cons, please research this. We started with a voluntary one but ended with a regional one, which was out of our control (long story...for another day). All agencies do information evenings and will speak to you. If you get no response or a weak response, reach out to a different one. It is a pain, but it's worth at as you need to feel comfortable because that process is long and can be wild!
Moose keeps asking to go back to Pride, we are having to teach him it's not on every day...but it should be.
"See you next year Pride", Moose, every day.
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